Sometimes you have to give yourself a pat on the back. I’m not great at it. I usually pick myself apart and I always think I could do better at whatever random thing it is that I’m trying to achieve. But sometimes I think, “Wow, you’re really good at that.”
My little man is Autistic. Lately Dom has been waking up for two or three hours in the middle of the night for what I’ve affectionately started calling “Pre-Schooler House Party.” Oh, he has a great time. We drink almond milk, jam some kiddy songs, dance on some tables with lamp shades on out heads. It’s a blast!
I’m not sure if it’s the change in his therapy schedule, or the fact that he’s given up on naps or what, but it’s certainly not wearing off quickly.
At first I tried, in vain, to get him back on track. Kids are supposed to sleep through the night. I know that. I hear it all the time from my friends that have non-autistic kids. They lie there peacefully, drool rolling down their cherub-like little faces. My friends brag. Then I think, “Maybe I should get new friends.”
Sleep through the night – not my kid. Looking back, I think he’s sleep completely through the night maybe 100 times in the 3and 1/2 years he’s been here. I’m really bad at math, but I’m pretty sure that’s a crappy ratio.
The thing is; I’m really good at waking up in the middle of the night. I’ve always been a wonky sleepy. My friends used to call me the “Borg,” and joke that I never slept, I just plugged in to recharge at 45 minute cycles.
But I’m great at rubbing the crust out of my eyes at 1:30 am and listening to Dom babble at me. I can make waffles without burning them, and even smoothly spread the peanut butter without sleepily losing a finger.
I’m great at being a 2:00 am architect of “Pillow Forts.” At 2:45 am, I can still work the DVD player, so we can watch Thomas the Tank Engine for 1,011th time.
And at 3:30 am, when Dom finally is ready to go back to sleep I have just energy to plop him back in his bed and cover him up with his favorite blanket. It’s the fuzzy one, with the frayed edges.
It feels good to be good at something.